


Flying Pigs

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Series: Voltron Emblem - AKA Various Voltron/Fire Emblem Crossovers [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Dates, First Meetings, Gen, M/M, Meddling, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, no pigs were harmed in the writing of this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7789453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo and Takumi wanted to ignore the people tying a pig to a makeshift zipline, they really, really did. It was their first date and they should have ignored it. They should have gone and gotten some milkshakes or went to play chess at the library. But the thing is, when you see two people tying a pig to a zipline that was clearly made themselves, in front of an old grocery store, you're going to ask questions no matter how hard you try not to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying Pigs

A loud squeal made them stop in their tracks. Leo and Takumi looked at each other with identical, slightly terrified expressions.

"What the hell was that?" Takumi asked, as if Leo would magically know.

"I think it has something to do with that."

Takumi turned and looked at where Leo was pointing. In front of the old grocery store across the street, they could see that what had made the squeal was most likely a pig. But that wasn't even the strangest part of that scene.

No, the strangest part was the zipline that the pig was being forcefully tied to. Or maybe it was the short, nerdy-looking person who was doing the tying. Or the terrified looking larger man holding a ladder in place, looking around frantically as if they were going to get in trouble.

"I really don't want to go over there," Takumi said, "but it's a pig being tied to a zipline." His face was pinched in confusion, staring at zipline. The thing wasn't even that high, so he wasn't sure if it technically qualified as a zipline.

"I know." Leo shook his head and huffed. "Forget whatever we were doing. I have to see what's going on over there."

"Agreed."

They walked across the street quickly, thankful that there wasn't any traffic. When they got closer, Takumi saw that the short kid had taped wings to the pig, too.

"Uh, what the hell is going on here?" Leo asked. The taller guy yelped, and jolted the ladder. The short one standing at the top shrieked, and so did the poor pig, too.

"Long story, but we need to get this pig to fly," the short one said. "Can one of you record it?" They pointed at the tall guy. "Hunk, hand 'em the camera."

The larger guy, Hunk, reached into his pocket and tossed a small, handheld camera at Leo. Leo fumbled, almost dropping it.

"I almost got this guy secure," the little one said. "Step back, about at the halfway point of the zipline. When I shout go, I want you to record it."

Leo and Takumi looked at each other, and shrugged. "You know what? Sure. But we want explanations when we're done," Takumi said.

"Fair enough. Name's Pidge, by the way. That's my friend, Hunk."

"I'm Leo, this is Takumi." Leo turned the camera on and pulled Takumi to what looked like the halfway point of the zipline.

"Are we really helping random strangers film a pig on a zipline?" Takumi whispered.

"Yes we are. Weird first date but I can honestly say I've never had more fun."

Takumi snorted into his hand. This was, if not at least fun, certainly an  _interesting_ date. So he couldn't really disagree with Leo. He watched Leo point the camera at where the pig was. Pidge looked like they were finishing up the last touches in securing the pig.

"GO!"

Leo pressed the red button and Pidge released the pig. Takumi watched as the pig sailed - not exactly gracefully, as the zipline wasn't that well made - down to a mattress that was placed at the end of the zipline, against a pole. The poor thing managed to get itself free and it plopped down on the mattress, and then it ran away squealing. Takumi and Leo both winced.

"Did ya get it?" Pidge asked as they approached. They took the camera from Leo and played back the video. Suddenly Pidge got a big, almost evil grin on their face. They pushed their glasses up and smirked. "Excellent! Hunk, cross 'flying pig' off the list!"

Leo and Takumi watched as Hunk reached into their back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and a red marker. "We really only need to do one more thing. Four out of seven, right?"

"What is it, my man?" Pidge looked excited. "We made a pig fly, we got Coran to drink a spaghetti smoothie, and we even emailed entries from Allura's diary to Shiro!" They paused. "You remembered to send it from Lance's email, right?"

"Of course," Hunk said. He looked a little offended that Pidge would doubt him. Pidge nodded and waved a hand.

"Right, then what's the next thing?"

"Well, the actual next one on the list just says 'Pidge needs to kiss you know who'."

Pidge flushed immediately. "No way in hell. Is there another option?"

Leo and Takumi both wanted to ask for context, but really, they were just entertained with or without it. It was almost like a sitcom or something.

"'Get a pervy pirate to date my dog-walker'," Hunk said. "Uh, not 'my' dog-walker but-"

"I get it, Lance's dog-walker. Where the hell are we supposed to find a pervy pirate?" Pidge paused. "And why is that so specific? Why would he write that?"

"I, uh, might actually be able to help," Leo said. Takumi grinned when he realized what Leo had in mind.

"Thank you!" Pidge threw their arms in the air. "Finally, we will get Lance and Keith to fucking deal with their goddamned UST!"

Leo and Takumi both shared a look and wordlessly agreed that they did  _not_ want context anymore. Leo pulled out his phone and punched in a number. Pidge and Hunk watched with rapt attention.

"Yeah, hey Niles," Leo said. "I'm setting you up on a blind date. No questions. I'll text you details later."

Just like that, Leo hung up. "I like your style, Leo," Pidge said with an appreciative nod. "I'll call Keaton and see when he's available."

"Make it soon, Pidge," Hunk said. "Remember, we only have a week to finish it or Lance won't ask Keith out."

"I know, Hunk, I know," Pidge said. They were already searching for Keaton's number in their phone. They found it and put it on speaker.

" _Hello_?" a scratchy, male voice said.

"Keaton, buddy!" Pidge bounced on their toes. "So, I got a couple friends here, and they're wanting to set you up... Sound good?"

" _What_?  _Why_?  _Who's this_?"

"It's Pidge, Lance's friend. You walked my friend's dog, Yellow, a golden retriever last week when I was sick!" Pidge huffed, no longer happy. "Look, you wanna do the date or not?"

" _I guess so_.  _When_?"

Pidge looked at Leo and Takumi for help. Leo took the phone. "Yeah, hi, this is Leo. You'll be meeting my friend at the diner on 5th Avenue tomorrow afternoon. My family owns it so you'll get a discount. Wear black and white."

" _Whatever_.  _This is a guy I'm dating, right_?"

"Yes, and his name is Niles. I'll give Pidge here a picture so you'll know who you're looking for."

He handed the phone back to Pidge. "Well you heard the man, Keaton! Better start picking out your clothes!" Pidge hung up the call and grinned at Leo. "Thanks for that."

"Sure. Let me get your number so I can send you the picture later."

He got Pidge's and Hunk's numbers, grabbed Takumi's hand, and turned away so they could continue their date. "Wait!" Hunk shouted. Leo looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Didn't you want to know why we're doing this?" Hunk asked, pouting at them.

"You mentioned something about some people named Lance and Keith dealing with UST," Takumi said. He raised one eyebrow. "I think that sentence was rather self-explanatory."

Pidge looked at the paper in Hunk's hands, and then shrugged. "If you say so. Thanks for the help!"

"Bye!" Leo waved over his shoulder at them as he tugged Takumi along.

After a few minutes, when they were halfway to the library, Takumi looked at him. "Should we have asked where they got the pig?"

**Author's Note:**

> ...I kinda wanna continue this adding on with Niles and Keaton's date.
> 
> Also maybe let Pidge have a happy ending for once cause somehow I'm incapable of that so far??? (seriously, look at ANY of my fics tagged with Pidge/Hunk. What's wrong with me?? I LOVE PIDGE WHY DO I LET THEM SUFFER???)


End file.
